Andover Waitrose staff accused mocking autistic boy

Nicole Rowles visited the supermarket in the Chantry Centre on Monday when she overheard a male security guard and a female employee joking about her 12-year-old boy’s appearance.

“My son was wearing his new wig, he likes to dress up as various characters as it’s one of his coping mechanisms.

“Their obvious mockery was hard to ignore, they were laughing and making comments of someone they could both see,” she posted to Facebook.

“I waited around near them listening for something to confirm that it was definitely my son that was being mocked by two adults.

“I didn’t have to wait long for the woman to say with a loud voice "what about that wig though?!’’ followed with a delightful laughter! At this point I turned around (about 15-20 meters away and still clearly able to hear their inconsiderate conversion at full volume) and said to them, ‘That's my son you are making fun of! My 12 year old autistic son!’”

The mother-of-four burst into tears and asked to speak to management and said she was helped by a lovely store assistant who was “clearly embarrassed” by her colleague’s behaviour.

She continued: “As I am stood crying in the store with my three year old waiting for management to come and talk to me, I notice people looking at me and I have never ever felt so emotionally beaten in all of my 34 years! Bearing in mind I still had my innocent boy across in the other shop! After a poor apology from another manager and the details of an area manager who isn't even available this week, I left to ensure my boy wouldn't catch wind of what had just happened.

“Once I got to the bus station, I called my husband and again I broke down crying thinking I was safe to do so as my kids went ahead onto the bus already. Then I felt a strong hug and it was my son! He said "It’s ok mum it doesn't matter what people say".

“My 12 year old son who struggles severely to fit in and often finds his own coping strategies to be able to manage situations ie wigs, strange walks, humming or even acting out scenes when feeling overwhelmed, had more compassion and understanding than your employees! They mocked my boy when he was trying to just cope and do daily things that for everyone else doesn't even need a second thought and that is to enter a store.”

The situation changed when her husband arrived at the store later in his military uniform – which Nicole believes prompted the prepretrator to apologise.

She wrote: “When my husband later went to the store straight from work he was met by an offer of some sweets!

“It’s just not good enough! Seeing as my husband was in his military uniform he drew some attention towards the situation, The store manager named Sarah even went as far as to say that they were not mocking my son. My husband then asked the lady involved directly if making fun of someone’s appearance, mannerisms and in this case wig is not classed as mocking someone? To which the lady just apologised!”

A short-time later the store called her to apologise with the offer of sweets.

A spokesman for Waitrose said: "We are very sorry to Ms Rowles, her son and family for the distress this has caused - this is clearly not acceptable. We are taking this extremely seriously and are investigating as a matter of urgency."  

Nicole wrote: “I am not one to take things to heart or to cause drama but this has deeply affected me and my children on an emotional level! The potential damage and knock-on effects this experience could have on my son is something that we will now have to work on and support him through, but no one knows how serious it could be! It could be anything from not wanting to leave the house, to reverting years of work on self confidence, to meltdowns or hopefully just a lesson learned that not everyone shines as bright as others!

“I really urge you to train your staff better, sadly this case isn't even "just" education on invisible disabilities but SIMPLY on being KIND!

“You do not EVER make fun of another person! Ever!  ESPECIALLY not a child!  Shame on you that in this case you made fun of child who clearly has additional needs!!  .... my child.

“I have attached a picture of my son paul takem today just before i entered your store.”

Nicole’s post to social media went viral, attracting hundreds of shares and thousands of likes.

She said she received a “cold” response from Waitrose who asked her what she wanted them to do and offered her a £100 gift card which she declined.

Nicole said she believes all staff should receive hidden disabilities training.

Sadly, she said the incident has had an impact on her son, writing: “I have many people ask how Paul is and sadly this has had an impact on him and not only on Paul but also on one of my daughters in particular. 

“I dont want to go into too much detail at this point because the real focus here is that we need to expect change! A sorry and gift card does not fix the damage done!! Not only to my family but all of the individuals and families who have been impacted by this lack of education and compassion.

She added: "We have emailed all the right people but there is protocol that they follow and with the cold manner we have encountered so far im not expecting anyone within their company to go out of there way and break with it in order to make us feel like urgency of this is being taken seriously."

A spokesperson for Waitrose said: "We are very sorry to Ms Rowles, her son and family for the distress this has caused - this is clearly not acceptable. We are taking this extremely seriously and are investigating as a matter of urgency."