A FAMILY has been left distraught after their father’s ashes were lost by a care home clearing out their mother’s room after she died.

Great-grandmother Rita Dunnett died in Basingstoke hospital on January 20 after catching Covid at Marnel Lodge in Popley which had declared an outbreak at the time.

The 83-year-old had kept her husband Samuel’s ashes in an urn in the wardrobe at Marnel Lodge after he died in 2013, and her wishes were for her own ashes to be scattered with his in Greenwich Park in London, where the couple courted.

But her family will now never be able to fulfil her wishes because the home lost the ashes when they cleared out Rita’s room, and it is thought they were thrown in a skip.

Peter Brickell, Rita’s son-in-law, said his wife Kelly was “devastated” by the loss of her father’s ashes.

Rita and Samuel, who had two children, were married for 55 years before Samuel died eight years’ ago.

Basingstoke Gazette:

Peter told the Gazette: “My mother-in-law said she wanted both sets of ashes scattered at Greenwich Park because that’s where they had done their courting. She was holding on to the ashes so that one day they could be together, and now they never will be.

“We don’t know what to do now. My wife and her brother have no idea what to do with their mother’s ashes. My brother-in-law said we might as well take the ashes to Marnel Lodge and put them in the skip so she can end up on the same landfill.”

He added: “There has been a deep depression over the family. I have three daughters and they were all crying. It’s devastated everyone.”

The family say they were not informed that Rita’s room was going to be cleared out by a member of staff at Marnel Lodge.

Peter, from Old Basing, said they were initially informed by the manager that Rita’s room would be locked following her death and they would not be able to retrieve her possessions “for a long time” because of the Covid outbreak.

Then, on February 22 Kelly received a call from Marnel Lodge to say her mother’s room had been cleared and the items were ready to collect.

Basingstoke Gazette:

Peter, 66, said: “At no stage were we asked if we wanted to be present when the room was emptied. We picked up what we thought would be all the contents of her room, on Tuesday the 23rd at 10am. That afternoon we started to go through the possessions we realised that lots of things that had been given as Christmas presents, and other things from her room, were not with her belongings.

“The worst thing was my late father-in-law’s ashes, which had been in an urn in the wardrobe which were also missing.”

Father-of-three Peter, who works as a carpenter, said Barchester Healthcare, which runs Marnel Lodge, eventually replaced some of the missing items including bottles of perfume and a food hamper.

“Obviously, they can’t replace the ashes,” said Peter, who is angry with the way Barchester has dealt with his complaint, taking three weeks to respond.

He added: “Nobody put their name to emails to sent to me. There was no telephone number for me to contact anyone from head office. They only responded when I threatened to go to the papers.”

Barchester eventually offered the family a £500 charity donation, but Peter said this is an “insult” for the trauma they have been through.

He now wants to raise awareness of the matter in the hope of preventing the same happening to another family, adding: “The main thing is that the stress that has been caused by the disappearance of my late father-in-law‘s ashes. My wife and daughters have been beside themselves with grief and at times inconsolable about the fact my father-in-law‘s ashes have ended up possibly in a skip.

“We had intended to scatter his ashes and my mother-in-law‘s ashes at a later date, with the whole family present. We are a very close family and this has affected us all. This is now not possible and we hold Marnel Lodge totally to blame for this.

“They had a duty of care to look after all the possessions in that room. They had no right to throw away anything, apart from perishable food stuffs”

Peter has asked to see the company’s policy regarding clearing rooms of residents who have died but said Barchester responded to say it does not have one.

In a letter sent by Barchester’s regional director Duncan Edwards, seen by the Gazette, he apologised to the family for what had happened and said it was “treated with the utmost seriousness”.

He said the home had searched storage areas and the bins for the ashes, as well as contacting the refuse collection centre in Reading where the contents were taken, offering “an incentive to locate the items”, adding: “Very sadly at this stage, the ashes have not been retrieved”.

He accepted that the process for clearing residents’ rooms on this occasion was “not fully adhered to” and that the member of staff tasked with this was not “appropriately instructed” and had “misunderstood some elements of what should be disposed of”.

In the letter Mr Edwards said he was “truly sorry” for the loss of the ashes adding: “There were evident shortfalls in our processes and communication with you and your family, and I do acknowledge that these items went missing whilst in our care.”

He offered the £500 charity donation as a “gesture of goodwill” and said Marnel Lodge had reviewed its processes to ensure it never happens again.

He added: “I do acknowledge this will not make up for the sentimental value this holds for you and your family. However, I do hope this gesture relays how truly sorry we are and for the distress this has caused.”

Peter said Rita was at Marnel Lodge for two-and-a-half-years and was “well treated there” adding: “They were always very good to us as a family”.

Barchester Healthcare said: "We are sorry for this loss during an already difficult time for the family. We have clear processes in place regarding the handling of personal possessions, which in this instance unfortunately fell short of our standards. We have investigated thoroughly and spoken to those involved to ensure this does not happen again.”