I THINK most of us by now are completely sick of hearing about the recent Scottish referendum.

So I apologise for this column in advance, but the event has run through my head for many evenings. Thus, I need to exorcise some of those demons in this manner, even though this space is much too short to address the issue properly.

Growing up in what’s now commonly known as Derry/Londonderry in Northern Ireland, the issue of nationality is one which has tormented me all my life.

I used to yearn to have been born somewhere where the issue of your nationality was not one which could be capable of causing such upset.

I was raised in a Church of Ireland (Protestant) household as British, and we considered the Queen our monarch.

Obviously, as I grew up and my circle expanded, I became friends with more and more of those who lived metres away and had been raised as Roman Catholics in houses where everyone considered themselves Irish (a number of my best friends, to this day, are the latter).

And the situation is similar today; in the 2012 NI census, the native population was asked to choose between British, Irish and Northern Irish.

Given that I consider myself both Northern Irish and British, it was a shock when I first moved to England – I have been here 11 years – and so many people called me Irish.

Some of my work colleagues occasionally speak (jokingly, I should emphasise) to me in a ‘top of the morning / to be sure’ accent, which, of course, is the accent of parts of the south of Ireland.

The hate that I witnessed being expressed by a minority on both sides during the Scottish referendum bothered and depressed me so much for any number of reasons.

I could envision similar bile being expressed should NI ever get to a referendum stage (my brother, who lives in Edinburgh, reported to me that he was shocked by the level of antagonism – and the racist comments – he heard between former friends as the debate raged on) and it all just seemed to be pushing things in the wrong direction.

Personally, I am grateful in many ways that I was able to come to live in England to work and to make my life as an adult, and, in all honesty, I will probably spend the rest of my life here.

As a believer in community and in teamwork, I can’t help but be drawn to the idea of ‘better together’, a situation where you give and you take, and we all benefit in the end.

How many people are like me and are in a relationship with, or married to, someone from another country?

My husband and I are reminded every day that the world is a smaller place these days, and, as a result, we appreciate and embrace the fact, rather than run from it.