WE’VE been filling in forms for our daughter’s school place this week, and it has inspired a mini moment of melancholy again.

It wasn’t because I am already emotional about the thought of her in her wee uniform heading off into formal education – those tears are to come; it was because we were not able to write down the names of any relations as emergency contacts on her forms. 

We have no blood relatives in the area at all who could help us in the event of something happening and I am sure we are not alone in being parents who are bringing up children on their own with no family support nearby.

It’s not anything I thought about properly when I moved to England, but now it preoccupies some of my time as I do worry what would happen in the event of a drama.

And, as I watch my daughter grow, I constantly contemplate what her grandparents are missing, or how much fun it would be if she had cousins or aunts or uncles who popped in from week to week.

Even though I grew up alone for nine years before my brother was born, I spent most weekends and full weeks of the summer with two female cousins who were very close in age to myself. 

Instead of family, my husband and I have again had to rely on friends, particularly our daughter’s godfather. It’s not quite the same as family – that strong blood sense of belonging, obligation and loyalty to your kin – but at least we have some people on our side who we can count on in a crisis.

We have also been considering the practical issue of who we could ask to take on our family responsibilities, should the need arise, as we are finally meeting with a solicitor to make a joint will.

I have been banging on about the need to do this since we had our daughter, and recent media attention on the subject seems, finally, to have spurred the other half into agreeing with me re the need for action.

I was determined to sort out the matter when I read After You, the excellent book on grief by the actress Natasha McElhone, whose surgeon husband died suddenly aged 43.

She had assumed that, as his wife of a decade and the mother of his two children (with another one on the way), sorting out the finances would be relatively straightforward.

But, she was faced with financial disaster after his life insurance was going to intestate, as he left no will.

No one wants to dwell on the worst that could happen, but the sensible plan is, surely, to be prepared.