I NEGLECTED to write about Valentine’s Day earlier in the month because I was too bogged down by myriad birthday preparations and our daughter's chicken pox.

But the event was inescapable; wherever I looked, there were hearts, flowers, fat cupids and the colour red. 

And my work email was flooded with press releases about the day, including the one which claimed that Basingstoke was the sixth least romantic destination in the UK.    

This release had just been cobbled together in order to promote a website but it touched a sore spot because people elsewhere like to think that Basingstoke is that kind of a town, a place fit to have been included in the silly first Crap Towns book.

But, as I then bored my colleagues by contemplating out loud at length, what does romantic, or romance, even mean? Surely it is completely specific to the two people who are in the relationship concerned and will vary according to who those individuals are? 

Personally, now that I have been with my husband for more than a decade, romance definitely does not mean a candlelit dinner, or the two of us contemplating a beautiful view in some European city.

Incidentally, we briefly honeymooned in Venice and, whilst it was undoubtedly a wonderfully historic place to visit, it didn’t make me feel in any way romantic. It was expensive, crazily busy and smelly.

If you’ve been together a long time, or have a busy family life to balance, romance can be hard to come by. 

And I’m a hard person for my husband to try to romance. I abhor PDA (public displays of affection) – I find it all a little embarrassing for everyone around you – and there are certain gifts I have told him to avoid because they are a waste of money.

He sees a lovely treat for his wife, whereas I can’t stop myself from seeing £40 which could have been spent on our credit card bill or on our daughter.

The things he has done or bought for me which I have found most romantic have never been expensive or elaborate. Instead, they have showed me that, gasp, he has been listening when I have been talking to him about things I like.

The place he proposed to me was very romantic, not because of its appearance or the actual location, but because it was connected with something I love and therefore demonstrated a touching level of thought and knowledge of me as a person. 

No partner needs Valentine’s Day in order to demonstrate the latter or how much they appreciate their other half.

Make them a cup of tea today – you’ll probably both be all the happier for taking care of the little things.