I HAVE so far resisted writing a column on breastfeeding but recent experiences of friends have now forced me to succumb.

One is a very good friend who really wanted to breastfeed her daughter.
Since the birth, she has struggled to do so. Things have reached a sort of equilibrium now, but she has, after a hard birth, endured weeks of agony, physical and mental, to get to this point.

I have gone with her to support classes, watched, heartbroken, as she has cried and sworn, and pushed herself to the brink in order to do what she feels is best for her baby.

She told me about another woman who, waking up in intensive care after haemorrhaging post-birth, was intimidated into expressing to feed her baby in another part of the hospital. This included her being woken every few hours during her supposed recuperation.

I do not doubt that it is great for your baby to be breast-fed, but there are other things which are important, too.

Personally, I have known all my life that I cannot breastfeed, but when I mentioned the details to midwives at appointments, they were often dismissive and rude. One, who saw me the morning after my daughter was born said: “Well, you still could have tried.” I was too weak and vulnerable at that time to defend myself, but how I wish I could return to that moment now to give her a piece of my mind. 

The NHS push to hit related targets seems to be at an unnecessary cost. Why should I have had to defend myself or felt the need to justify my daughter being bottle-fed? Why can we not leave women alone to make this decision, and then, when they have made a choice, leave them alone?

Because my daughter was bottle-fed, my husband was able to support me by feeding her through my recuperation after the birth, and my resulting emergency surgery four months later.

It is also ludicrous that the websites of baby milk manufacturers make you read a notice before you can access their product pages, saying: “The social and financial implications of using an infant milk should be considered. Improper use of an infant milk...may present a health hazard,” continuing, “breast milk is best for babies.”

Perhaps guidance would help uninformed or unsure mums, but if you’re happy with your choice, that should be enough for anyone.

Women have enough to deal with when they have a baby without agenda-wielders demeaning or turning on them if they don’t breast feed.

Bottle-fed babies, myself and my brother (a pharmacist, with oodles of brains) included, do not turn out to be less intelligent, healthy or whatever else.

For some of us, breast is not always ‘best’.