AS A young person, I always assumed that, as in the song which advertised the board game The Game of Life, I’d “find a job, money maybe/Get married, have a baby.”

My expectations were also a result of the way that I was brought up, of course, but I never could have expected the weight of everything that lay behind that simple ditty.

It has been something I have been pondering a lot lately because of the big second child question – that is, can and should we have one? Almost all of the couples we met and got to know first time around are already on to number two, as are my schoolfriends who have children, all quite probably discussing why we’re not joining them.

The main issue is, of course, my back. Given the damage done by pregnancy and labour last time, there’s no telling what would happen. Even though it might all work out fine, it seems a terrible risk to take. If we’re even contemplating it as an option, I’d have to go off my medication – one of my tablets causes foetal abnormalities – and I just don’t know if I could cope without the many pills which see me through every day.

My condition is also degenerative, so we need to make our minds up pretty quick, deciding if I am going to be in any shape to chase two children around, let alone one.

And this, of course, only becomes an issue if we are even lucky enough to have a smooth conception, pregnancy and delivery. The older you get, the more you find out that such an outcome is just not always the case. The powerful process of becoming parents also has the potential to break hearts and ruin relationships.

I know what joy another child would bring my husband and my parents. My mum and dad adore their only granddaughter so much and, as my brother has no plans to have a family, the responsibility for providing another grandchild, not that they’d ever express it in such a manner, lies with me.

I worry that, as an only child, my daughter will be lonely, especially as she has no cousins and we have no involved relatives living nearby. She won’t have someone to play with and learn with, or for company later in life when her parents are driving her demented and she needs someone to moan to who can properly understand, as only a sibling really ever does.

Then there’s the practical issue of the cost of two children. I want our daughter to have the best education possible – local schools are another issue! – which necessitates a serious college fund.

What to do?